Christmas Jokes, Jokes

Christmas Jokes to Make your Holiday Season Extremely Funny

Down below we have collected all sorts of Christmas Jokes from the North Pole. Here we focus on all things Christmas. There is so much to munch on for you, all through the holiday season, or any time of year really.

Christmas jokes

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
Ans- So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

Q. What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Ans- Santa going through a revolving door!

Q. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Ans- Claustrophobia!

Q. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
Ans- A Holly Davidson!

Q. Who delivers presents to cats?
Ans- Santa Paws!

Q. What do elves eat for breakfast?
Ans- Frosted Flakes!

Q. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Ans- Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

Cause as they say “there is no time like all the time to be happy!” (Don’t ask us who said that…We just know that it’s true!” We aim to add the decorations of laughter to the greatest time of year. So with great gifts which you can buy with money, also gift a present to your loved one which no money can buy – LAUGHTER!!

Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns

Q. What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Ans- Sandy Clause!

Q. What did the sea Say to Santa?
Ans- Nothing! It just waved!

Q. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Ans- Subordinate clauses!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
Ans- A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Ans- Santa Paws!

Q. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Ans- Santa Jaws

Q. What did Santa say to the smoker?
Ans- Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

Q. What says Oh Oh Oh?
Ans- Santa walking backwards!

Q. What do you call a cat in the desert?
Ans- Sandy Claws!

Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Ans- Because it ‘soots’ him!

Q. What does Santa do with fat elves?
Ans- He sends them to an Elf Farm!

Q. What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears?
Ans- Anything you want, he can’t hear you!

Q. Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Ans- Elf-is Presley!

Q. What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Ans- Idaho-ho-ho!

Q. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
Ans- The elf-abet!

Q. Where does Santa go when he’s sick?
Ans- To the elf center!

Q. Where do elves go to dance?
Ans- Christmas Balls!

Q. What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
Ans- An elfcicle!

Q. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Ans- Saint Nickel-less!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Ans- Santa Clues!

Q. Who is the king of Santa’s rock and roll helpers?
Ans- Elfis! (Thank you, thank you very much!)

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Q. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Ans- Krisp Kringle!

Q. How long do a reindeers legs have to be?
Ans- Long enough so they can touch the ground!

Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Ans- Horn-aments!

Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
Ans- They always drop their needles!

Q. Who is the Music Elf’s favorite reindeer?
Ans- Dancer!

Q. Which of Santa’s reindeers have to mind their manners most?
Ans- Rude-olph!

Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ans- Ice caps!

Q. What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Ans- Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!

Q. What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train?
Ans- Platforms!

Q. Why did the Rudolph cross the road?
Ans- Because he was tied to the chicken!

Q. Who is Santa Claus married to?
Ans- Mary Christmas!

Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Ans- One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

Q. What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Ans- Is it going to rain dear?!

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
Ans- Because it was the chicken’s day off!

Q. Did Rudolph go to school?
Ans- No. He was Elf-taught!

Q. What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
Ans- It got gobbled!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Ans- Frostbite!

Q. How do snowmen get around?
Ans- They ride an icicle

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
Ans- Because he wasn’t chicken!

Q. What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Ans- Iceburgers!

Q. When is a boat just like snow?
Ans- When its adrift!

Q. What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Ans- Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Q. Why did the turkey join the band?
Ans- Because it had the drumsticks!

Q. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
Ans- A mince spy!

Q. How does Christmas Day end?
Ans- With the letter ‘Y’!

Q. How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?
Ans- The Christmas alphabet has “no EL”!

Q. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Ans- Tinsilitis!

Q. What carol is heard in the desert?
Ans- O camel ye faithful!

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
Ans- It’s Christmas, Eve!

Q. What is the best xmas present in the world?
Ans- A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

Q. What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Ans- Fleece Navidad!

Q. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Ans- Cross Mouse Cards!

Q. How did Scrooge with the football game?
Ans- The ghost of Christmas passed!

Q. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
Ans- He got 25 days!

Q. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole?
Ans- No well, no well!

Q. What athlete is warmest in winter?
Ans- A long jumper!

Q. What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?
Ans- Excemas!

Q. What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
Ans- ‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’

Q. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Ans- Fleece Navidad!

Q. Why do ghosts live in the fridge?
Ans- Because it’s cool!

Q. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?
Ans- A Mistle-toad!

Q. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Ans- Nice gnawing you!

Q. Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters?
Ans- They keep loosing their needles!

Q. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Ans- Mistle-toad!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
Ans- A pineapple!

Q. What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake?
Ans- Your teeth!

Q. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Ans- Jingle Smells!

Q. Where would you find chili beans?
Ans- At the north pole!

Q. What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
Ans- You!

Q. Why don’t penguins fly?
Ans- Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!

Q. What do sheep say at Christmas?
Ans- Wool-tide Bleatings! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Q. What is the most competitive season?
Ans- Win-ter!

Q. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Ans- Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q. Which football team did the baby Jesus support?
Ans- Manger-ster United!

Q. How did Mary & Joseph know how much Jesus weighted when he was born?
Ans- There was a weight in a manger!

Q. What do you call a three legged donkey?
Ans- A wonky donkey!

Q. What’s the name of the one horse in “Jingle Bells”?
Ans- Bob. (Bells on Bob’s tail ring!)

Q. Child- This turkey tastes like an old sofa!
Mom- Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!

(Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.)
Doctor- What seems to be the problem?
Santa- I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor- Well your in luck because I’ve got just the cream for that!

Knock Knock Christmas Responses

Knock knock!
Who’s there?

Harold who?
Hark the Harold Angels Sing!

Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!

Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!

Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Christmas One-liners

Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

There’re 2 snowmen in a field, one snowman turned to the other and said “I don’t know about you but I can smell carrots.”!

Did you like the above Christmas humor? If you want to share other Christmas jokes with us, please comment below and let us laugh together.

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